I Am Not The Same

I sit writing this on a giant front porch in the middle of an island. I cannot believe I just typed those words— what on earth! 

A little over a week ago my team (and two other teams) moved to an island in Bocas del Toro, Panama. We are living on a YWAM base with two other YWAM teams. It is absolutely beautiful and the Lord has been working in me a lot in the stillness. 

My squad and I are entering the last month on the field, and beginning to process what going home is going to look like— each different for every individual. 

Today, during my time with the Father, I read Ecclesiastes 1-3.

The Lord has been reminding me a lot of how much I have grown throughout these past 5 months. Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 stood out to me and reminded me of many things that I have (or am currently) walked through during my time in Central America:

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter scenes and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

When I read through this passage, I was able to recount an experience or struggle for each and every season highlighted. Isn’t it wild that during a six-month period I have walked through and learned more things than I have learned in many years of my life? 

As I sit back and gain perspective on my Race, I cannot help but be awestruck at how much the Lord has done in and through my “yes.” Yet I so often do not see how I have grown or what the Lord has done in me throughout this season. I so easily believe the lie that I have not changed and the Lord has not grown me. 

But the Father has been showing me that I am not the same person I was on January 3. 

Praise God that I am not the same! Praise God that he is a good and faithful Father to his kids! Praise God that I am a child! Praise God that I walk in authority and my voice holds power! Praise God that his Spirit lives in me and I can confidently know his desires! Praise God that I am a leader for his kingdom! PRAISE GOD THAT I AM NOT THE SAME!

“But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever. For what you have done I will always praise you in the presence of your faithful people. And I will hope in your name, for your name is good.”

Psalm 52:8-9

I will praise him no matter what, no matter the season. 

I believe wholeheartedly that growth and perspective can be experienced in every season. I can seek and pursue him no matter where I am. Even as I am preparing to enter a season much different than the one I am currently in, I pray that I will not grow stagnant in my pursuit of the Lord and his heart.

Each day I am growing closer and closer to the Father’s heart. I am not the same and never will be.

Praise God that his faithfulness is not dependent on the environment I am in. Praise God that he is a Father of constant faithfulness. 

Praise God.