Peace and Clarity.

My prayer for the past year has been “peace and clarity.” I have visited eight college campuses, and did not feel peace about a single option. I desperately wanted peace and clarity about my future. Whether this answer was something safe, or something wild and uncomfortable, I slowly began to give this area of anxiety and confusion over to the Father. Practically, the next step after graduating high school is to begin college and the pursuit of a degree. Up until about three months ago, this was the only idea that filled my mind when envisioning my next season. However, in July the Lord wrecked me. I traveled to Brazil with a team from One Vision International to the state of Piaui. Here, in the town of Campo Largo, I had the opportunity to meet some of the kindest and most loving souls that I have ever encountered. I got to simply love and serve the most deserving community with no other reason than to show Jesus; to be His hands and feet. These two weeks changed my life and redirected my heartbeat. 

After this trip, I began to question every preconceived idea that I had designed about my future. I began to only think about the next time I could return to this country. God wrecked me.  

A journal entry of mine from 7.22.19, around four days after my return from Brazil-

“A lot has happened this summer. God has been so present on every trip I have been on and every place my feet are. As I am learning and growing more, I feel as if my calling is confusing and blurred to me. There is no doubt in my mind that I want to love, serve, and further the Kingdom– but what does that look like for me? God, I desperately pray for clarity. I pray that You would guide my heart to the path You have set for me. I pray that I would continue to be obedient. I want to walk in Your will. I want to love. I want to serve. And I want to do it all for Your glory.”

A little over a month ago, I began to see so many things about the World Race. I had heard of this program before, and followed many people who had done it. I had even subconsciously hoped to do it one day- but not anytime soon. However, God had other plans. I started looking into this program. I would visit the website almost every day and constantly think about the what ifs. I finally told someone about what I had been feeling. I confided in my best friend about how I was beginning to look into a gap year program. Whenever I finally spoke my feelings, it felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Jesus was working. He was molding the hearts of not only myself, but also my family and friends. 

Around the beginning of August, after talking with my parents (who were supportive and encouraging of this next step. Wow God!!!), I decided to apply to the World Race Gap Year Program for 2020. I had a phone interview and I was extremely nervous. I was asked about my testimony, and basically why I wanted to do the World Race. After the phone-call, although I was nervous, I had an undeniable peace about the whole situation. My family and I were praying that if I was supposed to do this, God would make it undeniably clear, and if I was not supposed to do this, then He would shut this door. I knew that whatever was going to happen, God would be right there with me guiding me all along the way. 

On August 19, I got a phone call from Adventures in Missions and was told that I WAS ACCEPTED INTO THE GAP YEAR 2020!!!!! My heart was so excited and full of joy, but I was also extremely anxious of what was to come. But what kept coming to mind was that where God guides, He provides- and He had undeniably guided me to this point.

As I began to tell friends, family, and mentors in my life of this decision I was met with some of the most affirming and encouraging reactions. God used some of the most important people in my life to affirm the decision that I had made to follow God out of my comfort zone. Throughout the period of the past month, God has shown me His faithfulness again and again through the people that He has placed in my life. 

So, the first year after high school is going to look a little different for me. Instead of packing up and leaving for my freshman year of college, I am going to be living out of two backpacks and calling three countries home for a period of nine months. Seeing the world and loving/serving other for NINE MONTHS. I am in awe that God has given me this opportunity. As I prayed for over a year, God has finally guided me to a place covered with peace and clarity. Although I may not know exactly what the next season of my life is going to look like, I know that God is going to go above and beyond anything I could ever dream or imagine. I cannot believe that I am going to get to love and serve and grow with no other mission than to show others Jesus. Jesus wrecked me through His love, and I cannot wait to show others His reckless love- a love that will wreck them too.

I am so excited that God has chosen me to embark on this journey. I know that it will be difficult at times, but I trust that He will provide for me wherever I am at. To whoever is reading this, I graciously ask that you would join me in prayer as this next season of life is approaching. For me, to continue to trust and follow God’s way. For the countries I will be living in, that God would begin to soften the heart’s of the individuals living there. And lastly, for anyone else that may be embarking on this journey as well. I would love for you to follow along with my journey! I will continue to post blogs here and updates involving the World Race. I am also going to be fundraising for these nine months, and would be so very thankful if you would consider donating! Thank you to anyone and everyone who has taken the time to read these words, straight from my heart. I pray that through my story, the Lord’s faithfulness is evident-He will abundantly exceed any expectation.